phone call from panicing client:
client: oh hi Tom, Mark gave me your number. He said you can fix computer stuff.
me: yer, sometimes. what's up?
client: well some dumb fuck super glued my fucking mouse to my desk.
me: (supressing laugher) I see.
client: anyway, that's not really the problem. What I want to know is, can I turn my monitor off without affecting the computer?
me: yes, but how does that help?
client: they've left a porno movie playing and I have a meeting in 30 seconds.
me: you better unplug the speakers as well.