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Stupid Client Quote #2965

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Benj | posted 06-03-2005 | Number of Votes: 68  |  Current Rating: 4.06   

Before I went into web design and development, I had a computer shop selling PCs and hardware parts. Since it was a small company at first, I do the deliveries myself.

Upon delivering a new HP OfficeJet that can print A3 size posters this is what he said:

Client: How can we test if it works?
Me: I can install it.

I installed the printer, and those days were Windows 98 days... upon opening their PC, I saw Windows 3.11. And the package did not have Windows 3.1 drivers. I asked if they have the Internet so I can download the drivers if I get to find any.

After successfully installing the printer, I printed the HP test page.

Client: Can we test it?
Me: Here are the printouts.

Client: How can I see if it really works with these, can you something like this? *Shows a piece of paper he has been sketching on while I was installing the driver. Then he started explaining how the poster should look like, where there logos are, and font sizes and everything. Colors and pictures*
Me: Sir, that is not part of our service, we are a computer shop and we only sell hardware.

Client: *mad* WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT IS NOT PART OF YOUR SERVICE? I PAID YOU TO DO THIS? YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW ME YET? AND I JUST MET YOU! (What? I do not know what he really meant here.)
Me: (Also mad, but I always believed in the customer is always right) OK THEN, GIVE IT TO ME, I'LL DO IT.

Client: Is it done?
Me: No.
Client: Why?
Me: You have nothing installed on your computer, you only have Aldus Pagemaker. (Yes Aldus)
Client: Just use what you can use.


Client: Is it done?
Me: No.
Client: Why?
Me: Your computer is so slow, I just drag something to a new position, I have to wait for some minutes.

... I came in for the delivery at around 4pm, he owned a music performing school and they were closing already ...

Client: Is it done?
Me: Nope.

... Client started watching what I was doing, just to check why it was taking so long, and he saw why. He saw it was so slow...

... It was already 7:30pm, everyone left the school, but his wife and two kids were now there. Waiting for him and they seemed to have a night out that Friday night. He kept on looking at the time, and his family kept telling him to go home already. ...

Client: Are you nearly done?
Me: Nearly, but even the few last steps takes so long. Your computer is so slow, outdated software, and lacks a lot more software. The only thing nice you have is your new printer.

...I had nothing to do that day anyway, and I was just irritating the client to make him realize that the poster he wanted as a "printing sample" to "test the printer" where he had very specific instructions how it should look like would take long to finish...

...Client calmed down, was not mad, looked apologetic, but did not apologize. And could not wait anymore and said, ok, you can stop there, let's print it and see how it works...

...He had a nice smile on his face like a small kid with a new toy, and when he saw my poker face, his smile faded away and simply said thank you...

He still owned me 50% payment and after a week I went there to collect the payment.

The manager of the music school told me that their boss said he wants to buy four computers from you. But installment basis since they can't pay them all outright. And them plan to have their website made by my company in the future.

I said: Sorry. This is my last day I am selling you anything. There are a lot of my competitors out there, I can give you their names and phone numbers if you want.

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