I love this website. I am a webdesigner myself and while reading some of the client quotes I laughed really hard. I live in Germany and I have to say that german clients can be as stupid as the clients in your quotes. (Sorry, my english isn't perfect)
This isn't exactly a quote but I had to make a new logo for our so-called art director and of course he already had his own idea how it should look like. But instead of showing me his scribbles with his idea before I started brainstorming, he led me work half a day on this logo and just as I showed him my scribbles he went into his office, grabbed his own scribbles, held them in front of my face and said: Nooo, it has to look like this!