As an undergrad, I worked at a large commercial photography company. 90% of our orders from our 900,000 or so potential customers came over the internet or the phone. Virtually all of our customers, if they provided an email addres, would get an email with their pictures. I was one of the more tech savy employees, so even though I wasn't in the customer service department, I took calls dealing with the website and email. These calls were not screened - the customer was simply prompted to hit "3" if their question dealt with our website or email. Consequently, I got all matter of calls.
Here are 3 of my favorites:
1) Customer: All of my friends got emails with their pictures, but I never did. Why not?
Me: Well let me check on your account and see why. What is your name?
Customer: Blah Blah
Me: Okay, Ms. Blah, I see we don't have an email address on record for you - that would explain why you never received it.
Customer: That is outrageous! All of my friends got theirs!
Me: I'm very sorry. Did you provide your email address to us on your information card at the event?
Customer: (pause) Well.. um... well..
2) Customer: I'm on your website and I don't see my pictures.
Me: Did you log in with your account number? (note: the # is displayed conspiciously on all materials that ever reach the customer, in BOLD RED TYPE)
Customer: Account number?
Me: It is in big red type right on the front of your order forms.
Customer: Oh.... I thought I just had to go to your website...
Me: Well, we take over a 6 million pictures each year, the logistics of having a customer just go to website and see their pictures are a bit... So we provide an account number for you to log in.
Customer: Well that's very misleading - it says right here "Log in at our website www._____.com and order now!"
Me: Well yes, you've reached our website, now you need to Log in.
Customer: (pause) Oh...
Non tech related, but one of the many who abritrarily hit "3" on the call menu:
3) Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Me: (angry that they've chosen tech support for their order, but willing to oblige, because hey, commission is commission) Alright, what would like?
Customer: I'll take such and such and such.
Me: And anything else?
Customer: Nope, that is all.
Me: Okay, and where would like these photos shipped?
Customer: 50 Main St. Anytown USA
Me: Alright, so that's going to " ", would like that expedited?
Customer: No that's alright.
Me: Okay, your total comes out to $110.95, that's including tax and shipping.
Customer: (awkward pause)
Me: Yes, your order was $99, tax is 5.95 and shipping is 6.00; total $110.95.
Customer: Why is there tax?
Me: It's state sales tax - your shipping address is in the same state as our office, we have to charge you sales tax.
Customer: Sales tax?
Me: You know - you go to the store and buy something and they charge you tax... six percent?
Customer: I don't pay taxes.
Me: Well, unless these photos are being ordered for a non-profit, you pay taxes. If they are for a non-profit, I will send you an itemized receipt by email so you can get a refund.
Customer: I'm not with a non-profit, but I don't pay taxes...
Me: Why is that?
Customer: Well, because I don't own a home... I rent an apartment.
(I had to put her on hold after that. I couldn't hold back the laughter).