Quite long, but please bear in mind, this one is a craker.
I was hired to do a massive email distribution, and of course design the mail campaign. It was about human rights and some problem dealing with human rights courts in latin america.
I get to the office where I meet this ex-kidnapped news reporter back in the 60´s. So I get there, he states that he wants to sue some latin america country because of the horror he lived inside a bunker for 6 months.
I went on, get the info to write and specify that I´ll be setting the massive mail sender in their machines, there for, I could only train one person to do the job. They assigned the lady to use the application.
I went the extra mile telling her the ups and donwns of the mailing list and how the system should work, she did her own trial of a 50 mail senders, everything worked accordingly. We broadcasted the 7000 email adds that day. Everything fine. Cashed the job went home.
2 weeks later I get a furious call from the "reporter of the 60´s" (I swear...he owns a disco all 60´s decorated that he runs as a side business)....
me: Yes, this is David on the phone.
60´s reporter: You come right here to my office now.
me: Sir, is the matter of topic that urgent? I am far from your office.
60´s reporter: Then call my secretary he needs your assistance ASAP.
me: That I can do. Is something wrong with the application I installed?
60´s reporter: I don´t know anything, call her and solve "that" problem.
Went to the office, and there in the scene of crime:
60´s reporter´s secretary: we don´t know why we can´t send this email. Last time I did it with you worked fine, now it doesn´t even open the dialog to send mail.
me: cheking the connection, called their local ISP provider, talked about their connection speed and bandwith limit, international ips and all that technical jargon.
after 2 hours not knowing why the massive mail program didn´t SEND the mails, I noticed and asked.
me: What is the mail you´re trying to send?
secretary: this is (opens my documents - mail to send)
me: oh gawd....
me: oh Lord....
secretary: this is the mail we have been sendin since a week ago but today it has not been sent.
- It happened to be that there were 10 recipients getting this 5 MB mail attach on their emails (back in the days where the entire planet had only 5 mb space from anything@mail)...and there were still another 6990 recipients about to be crushed in their modem 32kbps connections with this mammoth of mail -
me: What´s on the mail?
secreatry: nothing (opens the mail) just an invitation to see the whales season in the beach.
me: uh, hu....then...i don´t understand...why is this so big
secreatry: perhaps the scanned pictures?
me: thinking to myself (sure... if knew the scanned pictures were the problem...WHOLY MOTHER OF!!)...the attached pictures of the sea mammals were as big as they (almost 4x2meters and 300dpi)
me: I think you should tell you´re boss this mail isn´t going to be sent anymore. The connection is not the problem, it´s the attachments.
secretary: can you tell him that yourself? I don´t want him to get angry with me.
me: all right (braveheart theme plays in the back of my mind)
60´s reporter:Did you solve it?
me: sir, yes...here is your money. You may keep the secretary and the application....the tutorial was free.
I walked out, slammed the door, and yelled he could get someone else in his circus. I wasn´t gonna work like that.