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Stupid Client Quote #5321

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AndyK | posted 05-23-2007 | Number of Votes: 123  |  Current Rating: 4.55   

I spent almost 10 years as a general PC technician and have seen a lot of oddball problems but mainly it was the far out users that stick in my memory. There was a secretary who considered herself far more important than any other secretary because she did menial tasks for her big muckety-muck boss (who was nice to deal with, but that's another story).

The poor underappreciated secretary would whine if anybody in the entire building got a piece of equipment that was newer or more feature equipped than what she had. I mean, she just couldn't type documents into M$ Word without the latest fire breathing PC, and was sure to let everyone know about it (especially us technicians, who had nothing to do with the procurement process).

One day said secretary and I were having another familiar cat fight about her *obvious* need for a faster computer. I reminded her once again that if her boss signed off on the expense she could have one and I'd gladly come install it. Her husband, a semi-ignorant tech wannabee, was there to pick her up for lunch and overheard our conversation. Apparently while at lunch they plotted devious ways to get a new computer into her grubby hands.

The next morning I got a call to the secretary's cubicle because her PC was "broken". I asked specific questions as to what is wrong and she kept saying it simply "broke" sometime during the night. Funny, but the corporate policy dictated that all PCs be turned off before the offices were emptied each evening. I stopped by and immediately noticed a really strong burnt odor which was far worse as I put hands on the computer case to open it up. I pulled out the small pocket sized screwdriver to remove the case screws to see what kind of damage it had, but couldn't get any of them to turn. At all. And I was the last official tech to work on that very PC only a few weeks early. I always used that small screwdriver because it fit in my shirt pocket (geeky, I know, but effective).

I went back to my office and got the largest screwdriver I kept at work and brought two other techs back as witnesses. Using both arms the six-inch long screwdriver still wouldn't budge the screws. I asked Ms. Secretary who else had worked on her PC and of course she denied anything. I asked if her husband still had that toolbox with a big screwdriver that he carried around and watched her eyes get big in amazement. Funny, but I just made up that part to get a reaction. Years of watching TV detectives solve their case before the show ended was finally paying off!

With several other interested bystanders watching the proceedings by that point, and with Ms. Secretary beginning to sweat under the scrutiny, we got one of the building's electricians to bring in a foot long screwdriver, and with some straining and a few swear words, got the case off.

Needless to say, somebody had mucked around with the power supply and fried the motherboard. After having a very frank chat with her boss (did I mention how nice the boss was?), Ms. Secretary got her defunct PC swapped out with somebody else's older PC. After all, she only did light wordprocessing anyway.

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