Background: Corporate taxes are due March 15th, and if extensions are filed the taxes are due September 15th... I'm the new outsourced financial manager for ABC Co.
Summary of conference call with their CPA yesterday (July 30th):
Me: Great to talk to you CPA.
CPA: Our backs are up against a wall since we need to prepare and file these in about six weeks.
* My Brain: I've only been trying to reach you for a month, Moron. *
Me: Did you get the status list I e-mailed you yesterday.
CPA: Yes, but I'm not sure what it means.
* My Brain: It's a spreadsheet that shows everything that needs to be done; you should have learned this your first year in accounting. *
Me: Well, what can I give you?
CPA: Just send me backup databases with bank reconciliations and I'll figure out the rest.
* My Brain: Gee, had you only taken a minute to tell me that a month ago... *
Me: OK. But I need for you to send me the _____. I need it in order to unlock a part of the database to make some known corrections.
CPA: I don't get what you mean.
Me: You know, it's the thing that the client sent you before. It's kind of like a key. I can't make changes to parts of the database until you send it.
CPA: I still don't get it.
Me: Just forward me the e-mail in which the client sent you the key. I'll crank this stuff out to you as quickly as I can.
* My Brain: Holy Cow! *
Footnote: CPA is supposed to stand for Certified Public Accountant. Those of us in the business world call them Certified Pains in the Ass.