I used to be a custom computer builder. My father had directed an older tradesman on a job site to give me a call to build him a machine.
I asked him his budget and told him I would build a decent machine for his money. He said, "I don't want the latest and greatest you know." I said I would build a low end P4 System. He insists on a P3, I then replied it will have to be a used system. He insists that the P3 is all he needs.(This should have been a clue as to his level of reasoning)
Anyways, I build his P3 and bring it to his house to connect it and turn it on for him to avoid confusion. He looks at me and says, "Where's the internet?" I, of course point out the IE Icon and tell him this application will allow you to browse the internet. He says okay show me. I tell him, he needs an ISP first.
Him:"I paid good money for this, now where's my internet."
Me: "I built a computer that can go on the internet, not with the internet in it"
Him: "Don't you try and pull a fast one on me pal!" (now he's visibly angered) " I want the see the damn internet now."
Me: "Please understand I can't put the internet in a computer, but you can go on the internet once you have an account with an internet service provider."
Him: (Angered beyond belief) Don't F*** with me kid I'll....
Thank god his wife hears me trying to reason with him and intervenes. I escape with my life.
Needless to say his wife called an ISP and got an account. I had to go back there and plug in the cord from the wall to computer, as he placed an irate phone call to me that the internet still did not work. I told him not to call me about any problems ever. The End.