This is technically a client story, even if it is a call center version of it.
(A little background before I begin shall we? At the time (Sept. 30th 2004) I was working two jobs, the tech call center during the day and a battered womens' shelter in the evenings. So I've a great deal of patience in dealing with distressed and aggravated men and women. Most of my co-workers usually kicked the worst of their callers to me because I've a great deal of patience. Now having said that I shall also say I've a particular speech disorder that flavors my voice with an accent.)
Tech Center for a large computer manufacturer that likes the cow theme.
Trouble Ticket from first tech: User upgraded HD with aftermarket replacement, possible conflict with hardware. Extremely abusive please kick to Me to resolve.
Me: Tech center this is Me speaking how can I help you today?
Caller: Ya you can $&$&@ Help me you SOB's! Sold me a faulty computer!
Me Thinking: Oh lord a yeller...
Me: I'm sorry to hear that sir, Would you mind telling what the problem is so I can attempt to resolve it for you quickly?
Caller: Ya you SOB! My peice of &^%$ computer keeps locking up!
Me: Sir please refrain from cursing or I shall terminate this call. Now sir if you could tell me what you were doing when your computer locked up I can attempt to figure out what may be the root cause of the problem. (suspected a simple change in bios settings would resolve it but needed to be sure)
Caller: Listen you Terrorist tard you don't need to know what I was Doing on My Computer Just Send a Tech out to Replace it!
Me Thinking: Terrorist... Tard? Ok Lets have some fun with this idiot...
Me: Sir I shall not warn you again please refrain from cursing and name calling.
Me: Now sir if you would please tell me what you were doing on your computer I may have your computer fixed quickly or if not I'll have to repair it on site.
Caller: Wait what? What do you mean you'll come HERE?!?!
Me: Yes sir, I'm one of the technicians here. Normally I don't work in the call center but were short handed today. Now what would you prefer sir me to try and attempt to repair it over the phone or in person?
Caller: ... I... uhh... *dail tone*
Co-worker: That was mean.
Me: If he had kept his temper in check he'd be off the phone in five minutes.
(Later found out he had called back very subdued and a bit fearful of me being sent to repair his computer. His computer was fixed inside of ten minutes with no further hassle or cursing during the call.)