Client: We'd like to hire you to entertain kids at our mid-level professional sports venue.
Me: Okay, here's my hourly rate, plus the fee for the 55-mile round-trip drive to your venue.
Client: Well, no, we have no budget for any of that.
Me: Ohhhkay...I can just charge each person as I work.
Client: No, we don't like our entertainers to charge people.
Me: I can work for tips...
Client: Not possible. We don't want our ticket-buyers to feel they have to spend more money. But you can hand out your business cards and we'll mention you on the loudspeaker.
Me: So when you say "hire" you really mean "volunteer."
Client: You'll get exposure.
Me: *You* found me...I'd say I'm sufficiently exposed. Good bye!
