One of clients has the deluded belief that he is a designer. The initial concept design was sent to him, and for 3 weeks we had no contact with him (out of the office, in a meeting, etc), even our emails didnt get replies. eventually, an email arrived, with the simple subject "DO THIS", and a 35MB publisher file attached.
This guy had ignored all contact with us while he spent all his time working on this publisher file, which was "exactly how he wanted the site to appear", so we relented, and figure we were being paid either way, so we recreated it with a lot of CSS (fortuantely, he avoid using Comic Sans, and animated gifs. it was rather cminimalistic, but somehow quite ugly)
we email a link to the development to him, and he phones up in a blind rage. the problem?
1. "I designed it as A4 portrait, and you've done it as A4 Landscape"
2. "Thats not what i asked for, i specifically wanted the images *THAT* size"
a few days later, he decided that he didnt like the design anymore, and demanded we fix it, so we created 4 new concept designs, which took the best part of a week, and delivered them on the friday afternoon so he could look at them over the weekend.
it reaches the following friday, and we've not heard a word from him, apart from an email reply, sent the previous friday, saying "looking nice, i'll make my choice, and let you know on monday".
we phone him
me: "hi XXXXX, just thought id phone you about the website designs"
him: "Yes, they're all fantastic, i had trouble deciding"
me: "Glad to hear you liked em, what's your choice then?"
him: "i think we'll leave it as it is, ive accustomed to the design"
me: "but i thought you said hated the design"
him: "no i never"
me and the boys in the office are now placing bets on what mental disorder he has. the favourite appears to be alzheimers...